The Search

Hey nate how's life

I don't know it's alright

I've been dealin' with some things like every human being

And really didn't sleep much last night last night

I'm sorry that's fine

I just think I need a little me time

I just think I need a little free time

Little break from the shows and the bus rides bus rides yeah

Last year I had a breakdown

Thoughts telling' me I'm lost getting' too loud

Had to see a therapist then I found out

Something' funnys goin on up in my house

Yeah started thinkin' maybe I should move out

You know pack my car take a new route

Clean up my yard get the noose out

Hang up my heart let it air out air out

I've been searching'

What does that mean nate I've been learning

Grabbin' my keepsakes leavin' my burdens

Well I brought a few with me I'm not perfect

Looking' at the view like this concerns me

Pickin' up the cues right I'm quite nervous

Hate it when I lose sight life gets blurry

And things might hurt me

It's prolly gonna be a long journey but hey but hey

It's worth it though

Cold world out there kids grab your coats

Been a minute I know now I'm back to roam

Looking' for the antidote to crack the code

Pretty vivid I admit it I'm in classic mode

Don't need pity given to me but I can't condone

Talking' down to me I'ma have to crack your nose for crackin' jokes

I'm looking' for the map to hope you seen it

You seen it

Been makin' a whole lot of changes

Wrote a song about that you should play it

I get scared when I walk on these stages

I look at the crowd and see so many faces yeah

That's when I start to get anxious

That's when my thoughts can be dangerous

That's when I put on my makeup

And drown in self-hatred

Forget what I'm saying and

Where'd the beat go

Oh ain't that something'

Drums came in you ain't see that coming'

Hands on my head can't tell me nothing'

Got a taste of the fame had to pump my stomach

Throw it back up like I don't want it

Wipe my face clean off my vomit

Ocd tryna push my buttons

I said don't touch it now y'all done it

I can be critical never typical

Intricate with every syllable I'm a criminal

Intimate but never political pretty visual

Even if you hate it

I'll make it feel like you're in it though

You call me what you wanna but never call me forgettable

Leave you deep in thought I could never swim in the kiddie pool

Way that I been thinkin' is cinematic it's beautiful

Man I don't know if I'm makin' movies or music videos videos videos

Yeah the sales can rise

Doesn't mean much though when your health declines

See we've all got something' that we trapped inside

That we try to suffocate you know hopin' it dies

Try to hold it underwater but it always survives

Then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise

Then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies

You don't relate to that

Must not be as crazy as I am

The point I'm makin' is the mind is a powerful place

And what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way

It's pretty cool right yeah but it's not always safe

Just hang with me this'll only take a moment okay

Just think about it for a second

If you look at your face

Every day when you get up

And think you'll never be great

You'll never be great-not

Because you're not but the hate

Will always find a way to cut you up

And murder your faith woo

I am developin' take a look at the benefits

Nothing' to meddle with I can never be delicate

Am I even relevant that depends how you measure it

Take a measurement then bag it up and give me the evidence

It's pretty evident dependable can never be tentative

I'm a gentleman depending on if I think you're genuine

Pretty elegant but not afraid to tell you to get a grip

Proper etiquette I keep it to myself when I celebrate ah ah

It's that time again

Better grab your balloons and invite your friends

Seatbelts back on yeah strap 'em in

Look at me everybody I'm smiling' big

On a road right now that I can't predict

Tell me tone that down but I can't resist

Y'all know that sound better raise your fist

The search begins I'm back so enjoy the trip huh