HAPPY

Dear God please

Hear me out I know it's been a couple years

Since I've reached

Out and said hello I bet you're wondering

Why I keep

Obsessing on and stressing all the little things

When I should be

Living life and soaking up the memories

I know I've been selfish I have

No excuse to give you it's true

Hanging by a thread's how I live

I don't know why but I feel more comfortable

Living in my agony

Watching my self-esteem go up in flames acting like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks

When I know truthfully that that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel but I'm too proud to open up and ask you

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is I need help but I just can't imagine

Who I'd be if I was happy

Yeah been this way so long

It feels like something's off when I'm not depressed

I got some issues that I won't address

I got some baggage I ain't open yet

I got some demons I should put to rest

I got some traumas that I can't forget

I got some phone calls I've been avoiding

Some family members I don't really connect with

Some things I said I wish I would've have not let slip

Some hurtful words that never should've left my lips

Some bridges burned I'm not ready to rebuild yet

Some insecurities I haven't dealt with yes

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul

And the last to admit I need a hand to hold

Losing hope heading down a dangerous road

Strange I know but I feel most at home when I'm

Living in my agony

Watching my self-esteem go up in flames acting like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks

When I know truthfully that that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel but I'm too proud to open up and ask you

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is I need help but I just can't imagine

Who I'd be if I was happy

Don't know what's around the bend

Don't know what my future is

But I can't keep on living in

Living in my agony

Watching my self-esteem go up in flames acting like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks

When I know truthfully that that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel but I'm too proud to open up and ask you

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is I need help but I just can't imagine

Who I'd be if I was happy

If I was happy

If I was happy