Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags) - Sped Up

Wait a minute' man

Hey' check this out' tell it

It was this blind man' right?

Man' check this out- it was this blind man' right?

He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick' right?

Hey

He walked past this fish market' you know what I'm sayin'?

He stopped' he took a deep breath' he said'

Woooooo' good morning' ladies

You like that s*it' man?

Prett good Hey' man' I got a gang of that s*it' man

I tell you what- my man on the guitar' fool on the drums'

Everybody just crowd around the mic' I'll tell you all these mother****ers' jokes

But first' I'ma start it off like this

Hey' help me sing it'

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags' baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark' smoke that **********.

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns' singing them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong' sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll' roll' roll my joint

Pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale' skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll' roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville

If my tapes and my cds just don't sell' I bet my caddy will

Well it was just sundown in a small white town

They call it Eastside Palmdale

When the Afroman walked through the white land' houses went up for sale

Well' I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan

I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan

We f****d on the bed' f****d on the flo'' f****d so long' I grew a f****n' afro

Then I f****d to the left' f****d to the right

She sucked my **** 'til the s*it turned white

I thought to myself' Sheba' Sheba!

Got my ** lookin' like a ZEBRA!

I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way' until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet

So I ran

I jumped out the back window' but her daddy' he was with waitin' a 2 x 4

Oh' he beat me to the left' he beat me to the right

The mutha-f****r whooped my ** all night

But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad' that's the best damn ***** I ever had

I got a bag of **** and a bottle of wine

I'm a **** that ***** just one more time

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags' baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark' smoke that **********.

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns' singing them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong' sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll' roll' roll my joint

Pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale' skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll' roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville

If my tapes and my cds just don't sell' I bet my caddy will

I met this lady in Hollywood

She had green hair' but damn she looked good

I took her to my house' cause she was fine' but she whipped out a **** that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan' never made love with an African

I f****d her once' I f****d her twice

I ate that ***** like shrimp fried rice

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya

I met a woman in the heart of Australia

Had a big butt and big t*****s' too' so I hopped in her ** like a kangaroo

See' I met this lady from Hawaii

Stuck it in her **' and she said' Aiiiiieeee!

Lips was breakfast' ***** was lunch' then her t*****s busted open with Hawaiian Punch

Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky

She said' I'll fry some chicken if you just **** me

I came in her mouth

It was a crisis

I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags' baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark' smoke that **********.

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns' singing them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong' sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee

Her t*****s were filled with Hennesy

That country music nearly drove me crazy' but I rode that ** and said' Yes' Miss Daisy!

Met this lady in Oklahoma;

Put that ***** in a coma

Met this lady in Michigan;

I can't wait 'til I **** that ***** again

Met a real black girl in South Carolina;

F****d her 'til she turned into a white albino

F****d this hooker in Iowa

I f****d her on credit' so I owe her

F****d this girl' down in Georgia;

Came in her mouth

Man' I thought I told ya

Met this beautiful ***y ho;

She just ran cross the border of Mexico

Fine young thing' said her name's Maria

I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla

I wanna get married' but I can't afford it

I know I'ma cry when she gets deported

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags' baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark' smoke that **********.

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns' singing them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong' sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll' roll' roll my joint

Pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale' skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll' roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville

If my tapes and my cds just don't sell' I bet my caddy will