When it comes to hitching the boat up
Back in down the ramp in my old truck
To find a bunch of logs
To catch a bunch of hogs
Yeah I wrote the book
Yeah I wrote the book
If you wanna learn throw a curve right
Catch a clean up looking on the third strike
Talk a little smack while he's walking back
Yeah I wrote the book
But there's one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand
One that says don't cuss and don't fight
Let the bottle turn you into a different man
But five don't do it every friday night
Those get you into heaven letters in red
Ain't getting red enough to keep me on a straight line
I'm a jack of all trades
But man I gotta say that's one book I didn't write
I met a good girl she had her life straight
She said she loved that I was good at everything
One day she left me in a cloud of dust
Cause I never was too good at picking up
The one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand
One that says don't cuss and don't fight
Let the bottle turn you into a different man
But if I don't do it every friday night
Those get you into heaven letters in red
Ain't getting red enough to keep me on a straight line
I'm a jack of all trades
But man I gotta say that's one book I didn't write
Yeah the good lord knows I need it
I didn't write it but I probably ought to read it
The one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand
One that says don't cuss and don't fight
Let the bottle turn you into a different man
If I don't do it every friday night
Those get you into heaven
Letters in red
Ain't getting red enough to keep me on a straight line
I'm a jack of all trades but man I gotta say
That's one book I didn't write
That's one book I didn't write
That's one book I didn't write