密室逃脱18移动迷城白蚁攻略大全

there look that's been her my love i'm here we'll rescue you soon be careful susan it's fine the preach is dirty get out of here you drove my husband to mistree but you won't get me oh you're the girl's tension right no well， i'm not going but if you help me listen i feel the whole you'll need a old i think there's also you as if he was when he learned that he find a damage at you asks i'm sorry to behave that way， but i have to be sure you met your car stop are you an it appeared on the clip i remember she and then victim looks thai eyes oh， why looks like the witches crypt and there's the sarcophagus let's examine everything thoroughly any detail might turn out to be crucial talking to for here are directly would be much better looks mama what's this i'm scared these are the rest of the souls of the necropolis we summoned。

i found her what is this chest doing in the middle of my living room hey， anybody home so strange maybe it's a joke well， i did bring back some anti magic gloves for my last trip they're in the safe now but who wrote this note how did he find me and how does he know that i helped the gloves？ what was that what is happening in here？ well， just calm down i need to buy someone hello susan my name's finger stulburn and even though i'm the captain not me not this boat and my body is a deep magical slumber in the lost lands while my mind is my travels are random chaotic and produce horrific natural disasters everywhere i go someday i just might cause the destruction of every world i've been to which is why i need your help set the compass of the world's to the loss go there find my body and wake me up for my internal slope there's no time to waste i might jump again any moment now， please hurry throw the compass into the water susan try to fight my wife would you cheat what happened and where am i look fine well， you're awake welcome to the mist coast the very western most province i'm corko by the way i found you in the river you should tell me how did you end up here？ anyway okay then what are you looking for here anyway but look there is a town on the opposite riverbank called bay of sorrow but if you want to get there you have to help that is the bay of sorrows the sailor's town i have to fix the fairy if i want to go there 啊啊！ let's make the ferry floor together splendid you can go to bay of sorrows now and search for your captain why are you in such a hurry anyway watch that our worlds are in danger well， i've heard a story of a ghostly ship in its captains and a giant octopus that show up here and there so it was true after all well， susan， i'm not the hero type i'll be in the burrow good luck hey， you， thank you for answering my call i see your you're not from around here listen help me open this door it's so cold down here help me out and i'll be in debt you this ship is just like the one belonging to captain stalburn i have to find my way inside listen i'm so cold i i can't even move i need to warm myself first somehow 嗯嗯， well， thank you well this is good i've been sitting here in this cellar for what the earl's guard's been punished me and locked me up in this cellar anyway， let me introduce myself i'm jet and i'm in your what that to i know captain singh i was with his crew on the gray founder of in the house where i was locked in this i have been keeping an eye on his house and sing so you're after it well， i know where it is let me show hey， susan， i'm here i'm the captain fridge come on up that is up antonian island and that is captain fenior stella bird， a few years ago we came home in the ship when the time came everyone was here but kept after a few days of waiting one of the sailors it was one of those energy capsules with the body of our captain inside we tried to get there with our ship but every time you should start at his house if you want to get to the truth there's a hidden passage to the house in the cellar， but you need to keep looks like someone already had a look around i think captain wanted the earl's castle to get his wife oh no are you sure in the meantime be careful and here take this drawing i got it for my granddad oh， i'm okay well now i have to replace all the broken 啊哈 i have you now hahahaha wow， well well well look away celebrity little bird or do you even know who i am i'm a copy of the earl of the mist coast now talk what were you after in my tent speech now goodness we have another spy what's going on today an open such a stripper of everything she has it as for her throw her in the nut now let's see who else we have here let's go curly 是天赋 who's singing hey， who's there right i need to get out of here luckily， i managed to hide the lock deck in my sock unnoticed by the car you are the first person i've seen for years i mean they are less keeping me here yardra what from another world but how could it be you say you're looking for finn or stoolbern that's my husband but you're too late i'm afraid the earl obian killed him i know this for sure because i saw what are you talking about what do you mean he's a lie magic slumber i can't believe it but if what you say is true and you've seen the spirit of my husband look i want to help you can it be true i can finally escape。

we must get to that ruined castle there's a portal which will take us to pagonian island it's here， but there used to be a portal instead of a giant column that's strange oh， here's the portal now we need to activate it somehow i think someone is coming oh no the guards found us my dear susa， i'm so glad and mortified to see you in front of me a friend of mine the beaverling corko sent a pitching to me with my trailblazer skills helped me to get to obi then i deliberately surrendered myself to the guards in order the earl， let it slip that you were into dungeons i've gotten rid of the guards with my magic， but as for me i've continued my journey so you're after finished oh death i've heard the story of his dead my husband isn't dead i've thought so myself instead and while he'd wandering between the worlds his effort well， then our worlds are in danger the key to the portal might be anywhere the dungeon doors locked no more we can go back to the castle and speaking of which he dropped this key don't bother they're just sleeping i had to do it or they blocked me up another guard is here if he sounds the alarm all the guards from the castle will rush to this place we must find a way to neutralize him without anyone noticing her susan marun and you whoever you southern dear the day i fished you out of the river was the day i marun appeared here before my burrow not long after and off he went and so he found you so to what do i appear circle to sleep well， it's not my specialty look for them in the barn， oh no maybe looks like jack didn't deceive me his weapon is working whoa we made it we're on look the crypt is dressed up ahead let's move faster there look that's dinner my love i'm here we'll rescue you soon。

be careful it's fine the bridge is dirty follow me get out of here you drop my hands into your scream but you won't get me oh you're the old benchman right no what but if you help me with this thing or two then cool listen i have a rotent in this to the hole i think there's some you want to see he was so fond of you when he learned the girls worry find my helmet and place it on you to an i ask sorry to behave that way， but i have to be so yet where once are you interested in the magic crypt i remember it even now such a witch from a cap she was the want to build and then they put a cush still cute holding them but which died not long after i suggest you remember oh， why why are we talking here looks like the witches crypt and there's the sarcophagus let's examine everything thoroughly any detail might turn out to be crucial it would be much better but hmm mara looks like your wish may come true we'll attempt to summon for harris's ghost wow looks like this wall is barely holding the river as it is mama what's this i'm scared these are the restless souls of the necropolis we summoned mortals oh what a long time it isn't someone to be i hide a lot of things i say i've put someone into a magic love i really dark spells to doing doing and you're my last dad to speak though there's a tour in the first pass only the punch of my hat use my hand to hope you'll find all you need to know about the map but there was one thing thing one of you who did i thank you what what be careful not to run into him on the way help me hmm what ship is coming oh no it's it's the old ship i have no idea where obian was all this time but how else can you explain him showing up here on the bat what should we do now wait i have an idea do you remember how the wall was built on this island let me tell you it was built in order to defide the river so what if we destroy the wall the river will flow right through the center haha and that's where the earl's cannons will it will need to sneak onto his ship and fire them right oh no nichiel is gone but now and where oh this is very strange i can hear the voices coming from again go to the jacket keep your eyes off the clear slot anyone fire acting for that breaker i wouldn't have a rest what the fuck is down if it worked hurry to the exists we must get the captain from the cube arbiad has escaped his cannon oh no because the kill is going to kill her。

他看价码大概是从书皮上算的，早知道这么便宜，他肯定得多买点，哈哈哈。我给刚出来的人们一人要了一瓶可乐，让青稞把钱算了，剩下的都给他了。我得有意识的培养这些人基本的事，生存常识，要不这一年我得活的多痛苦。 包子拉着李诗诗的手刀，我们要去选几件内衣，你带他们几个再买几套替换的衣服，对了，还有牙刷拖鞋什么的，咱们电话联系啊。 我一把抓着包子，带着哭腔说，你可不能丢下我一个人呐。包子不好意思，他看着路人奇怪的目光，使劲的掰我的手，我才不管呢， 你要我带着这么四位在拥挤的富态路上乱逛，你不如找四个生过无数孩子的非洲丛林黑淑女，让我精尽人亡的，哈哈哈，尤其秦始皇尝到了甜头，那手特别顺呐，见啥吃啥呀， 我还得屁颠屁颠过去给钱去，哈哈哈。包子纳闷，那你说怎么办？要不一起去？我使劲点头，李诗诗咯咯一笑， 表哥表嫂感情真好，一会也离不开。我瞪了他一眼，就这么会功夫，秦始皇就在水果摊上撇了人家一根香蕉，哈哈哈，我们人手一根香蕉，浩浩荡荡的走进了一家女性内衣专卖店，十几排塑料的按摩整整齐齐站在我面前， 边上有两个裸的什么也没有的，我紧贴墙边蹲下，把头埋进了裤裆。要是只有我和包子，那我完全可以雄赳赳气昂昂的陪着他，有时候还会提出自己的意见， 毕竟女人的内衣不是穿只穿给自己的。但现在我领着一群老爷们跟在两个女人后边，怎么看怎么诡异，这很容易让人产生不好的联想，我有 有的时候啊，真的很佩服刘邦这丝背，这个手，不紧不慢的跟在两个女孩子身后，不时凑上去看看这胸膜，身上内衣的材料，有几次鼻子几乎都贴到看不见了，我就不信他不知道这么干是很丢人的事。项羽显然在想别的事， 当他走到一片惊涛波涛中时，才发现不妥，站在当地左顾右盼，个子还那么高，连店外的人都能看出来 金科是个好人啊，但他站的太不是地方，全店就他们那么两个也没穿的嫩模，他为了找半导体讯号，居然正好站在那俩东西前边，嘴里露出白痴一样的微笑，跟晚上的猥琐男简直就是双胞胎呀，哈哈哈。 迎胖子蹲在我的旁边，疑惑的说，我咋看着这么眼熟嘞？我脑海里顿时闪现出无比淫荡的场面， 嘿嘿一笑，嘿嘿嘿，你那时候是不是看一大群美女跳脱衣舞来的呀？杨胖子摇了摇头，鹅看的都是穿衣服的。我恍然道，你是不是想起你的兵马俑来了？这些秦始皇一拍大腿就是你，咋自豪呢？哈哈哈。我忽然额头冒汗， 我想到了一个惊天动地的大事，秦始皇陵到底在哪，至今是个谜，虽然比较被认可的说是立山墓，但在那里没发现秦始皇本人的遗体，而且竟证实此墓没被盗过。那么也就是说，立山墓很可能只是秦始皇为了掩人耳目的一个假墓。那么真墓在哪呢？ 以前世界上没人知道，现在至少有一个是明白人，秦始皇，我结结巴巴的，明哥，你死以后他们把你埋到哪了你知道吗？ 妈逼， 骊山，这秦始皇一听骊山这俩字就轻蔑，嗯呐， west 是假的，我无穷无尽小心翼翼的问，那你现在能找到那个地方吗？ 这赢胖子一打嘴不好色，骊山秦王墓。居然真的是假的？我还想再问包子那边举着一件文胸跟我喊，强子，这件怎么样？ 我就又把头埋进裤裆，刘邦脱了个下巴，我喜欢那张黑的，哈哈哈。包子瞪了他一眼，然后笑眯眯的对刘邦道，再给你买 一家。这项羽站在围胸堆里边发了一会呆，快步来到我的面前，小强来的时候做的那个东西最快的，跑头快。 看来楚霸王真是儿女情长英雄气短，现在就是一心的要找回衣机了。他大概没清楚我跟他说的，回不去的是时间上，而不是距离上， 李诗诗就不会犯这种错误。但我只能先回答道，那个叫面包车，最快八十迈，如果是好车呢，可以快二到三倍。项羽一愣，八十迈？ 哦，就是哎，就这么跟你说吧，最好的马能跑六十多迈，你当年骑的那匹马估计能跑到七十，而咱们做那个东西能跑八十，而且呢，你得能没日没夜的跑。项羽满眼都是幸福之色，那个东西要让他跑 起来好弄吗？哎，没烤制，哈哈哈，我车管所没有熟人啊，什么意思？哎，就是不好弄，哈哈哈，而且那个东西不是我的，我暂时还买不起，钱不是问题， 哈哈哈，问题是没钱。兄弟，我跟你实话实说啊，我赚的相当于你当年手下的一个火头兵那么多，你想想，一个火头兵想买你那匹马，那得攒多少年钱啊。项羽一肉美， 我穿了那件细假，乃是真金所出，光请人打造就费用了三千斤，你把它卖了能不能买一个面包车？我只粗略的一算，没算出来数，能买无数辆宝马。我不要宝马，我只要一个面包车。哈哈哈， 你看看，你看看人家楚霸王的觉悟，哈哈哈，项羽继续，你一会回去就把他卖了。我 顿时想起老潘的话，哈哈哈，一把荆轲刺秦的匕首就能把我送进监狱，永世不能翻身。这一件项羽穿过的马甲大概也差不到哪去了。我跟项羽的这件事兄弟慢慢跟你解释啊，你要喜欢开车我可以教你，但是回去找嫂子没那么简单的。哈哈哈。 好了，以上就是我为大家播讲的史上第一混乱第十市长的故事，感谢各位的收听！ 史上第一混乱佛讲牛大宝冠名瑶瑶第十五章安全归来这时候我就听到了一种很玄妙的声音，咕噜噜噜噜噜我二话没说一把抱住秦始皇，明哥，咱等会就吃饭了，你可千万别再出去扫荡去了，哈哈哈， 项羽不好意思的一举手说，哈哈哈，也难怪那项羽一心思想自己的事呢。早晨那顿吃的跟李诗诗一样多，就他这个体格子，秦始皇也就能比他多吃半个馒头。 刘邦是没骚。没没没羞没骚的劲大，一路跟在两个女的后边转到了情趣内裤店，包的也不好说什么，只能小声跟李师师讨论。刘邦把头凑了过去，听了一会大声问 啥就性感啊，强子喜欢白的啊哈哈哈，售货员噗嗤一声就笑出来了，哈哈哈，我后槽牙碰后槽牙说了一句，帮个忙把那小子扔了， 哈哈哈。没等项羽动地方呢，刘邦自己一溜小跑站在了商店门口，扶着门框幽怨的说，不同的妹妹也不行，哈哈哈，我臊眉大眼的走，我就跟包子他们说，我们先出 吃点东西吧，这都快半下午了，包子也不好意思待了，小声道，刘记怎么那么愣啊，你说吃什么吧，只要不吃包子。我叹了口气，刘记其实有老婆，就是他老婆太厉害，我估计啊是上床都得关灯那种，把刘记给惯坏了，哈哈哈。 我把项羽安排在中间，拉着队伍进了一家店，我跟服务员道，来五斤炒饼，一盆凉拌豆芽。 服务员，饿燃灯啊，先生，您几位骑一个，本店的炒饼分量很足，一般人吃三两酒。 这时候项羽一低头进来，服务员立刻说，哦哦，五斤是吗？哈哈哈，这是我第一次带他们出来吃饭啊，用刘老六的话说呢，这都是我的客户，我带着我的客户在富泰路吃了五斤素炒饼，然后继续逛街， 一斤的包子还提醒我买几个棉垫子，要不晚上没法睡。想起来这个我就头疼，我实在理不出个头绪来。五个男的，两间屋，刘邦项羽绝对不能在一块，秦始皇不愿意和打呼噜的荆轲一起， 刘邦不愿意和秦始皇一起。项羽贤金科，老，问他关于小人的事，至于我呢，我是谁也不想见，哈哈哈。一道高考考题出现在我的生活里，而当年那个二十拿二十六分好像不是靠这道题来的。 新买的两个垫子都给项羽拿着，一人长的垫子给他夹一个，就像普通人夹着个公文包似的。李诗诗呢，提着他的书，刘邦拿着换下来的和刚买的衣服，荆轲因为只有一只手空闲呢，就让他拿了点刚买的洗漱用品。至于秦始皇，为了堵住他的嘴闭， 需让他不断的有吃的东西，这东西还必须耐吃，我给他买了一袋子麻子嗑着，哈哈哈，也就是瓜子，哈哈哈，我们皆大欢喜的往回走，在车上包子都路过超市的时候，咱们进去买点东西， 我真是太爱他了，自从这个女人在本书出现以来，你见过他干过一件好事吗？领着秦始皇这样的进去，月薪不到一万五的根本就出不来呀，哈哈哈，罚款也得罚的，一个小康之家迅速回到八十年代以前呐。我嘿嘿假笑，哼， 咱们先回吧，把你们送下，我自己出去买点带给车加个油。李诗诗一插嘴，我看不如现在就去，他本来是翻着他的书的，我想不通那本梁思成中国建筑史上怎么会和超市中东西有联系，从后视镜里看了一眼， 跟他一脸的黑然，我明白了，他是听出我的紧张，故意跟我作对，因为凡是我紧张的东西，对他而言肯定是有用的。这秦始皇嗑着个瓜子问干啥去啊， 我憋了半天，实在不知道该跟他们说了，要让他知道这个美好的所在，我的就倾家荡产，我倾家荡产也他妈不够赔啊，哈哈哈，幸亏包子误解了他的意思，我们去买点菜，晚上回去我做给你们好吃的。 那我不欠，哈哈哈。到了超市门口，我跟包子说，你跟表妹自己去行不？我们就不下车了，包子痛快的领着李师师就走了，我回过头恶狠狠闹， 你们几个啊，没一个遵守约法的，尤其是你宁哥，别把人吐车上啊你，哈哈哈。项羽 根本没听我在说什么，这一路上目不转睛的看我开车，现在他把胳膊搭在车座上，认真的问，踩哪个是走，踩哪个是停啊？ 可以宇哥这都看出来了，你手上那根棍是干啥的呀？你先别管这个棍，以后咱买辆自动挡的就行了，哈哈哈，我来试试。 说着他就从后边往上边挤，面包车被他摇的呀，来回晃，我一把把他推回来，机会我离你远远的，你再开，哈哈哈。 等了一会呢，包子和李诗诗就回来了，提了大堆的菜，还有几瓶子酒，李诗诗嘴里居然嚼了一个香口香口香糖，他上了车呢，分给在座每人一颗，还嘱咐爹宴呢，哈哈哈，看来这一趟他又长能耐了，这次逛街可谓是有惊无险了，除了我的钱包 憋的像被气气一气解放压过了蛤蟆还算功德圆满。我在给车加油的时候呢，京二傻把半陶底捂在耳朵上喃喃自语，一个黄马甲过来敲了敲他的玻璃，先生，请不要使用手机，哈哈哈， 到了家门口呢，别人都跟着包子上楼，不出我所料，项羽留在最后，我真不忍心当着他的面把车换了，我指着门口一辆自行车跟他说，那个跑的也挺快，就是有点累，项羽给了我一个很专业的拒绝理由， 那个连二十迈也跑不了吧，哈哈哈。哎，你把项羽当荆轲那么骗是不行的，历史上说他是妇人之门，说明呢，这个外表粗豪的汉子是有着细腻的一面。主要是今天这趟街啊上坏了， 至少秦始皇知道了外边的世界很好吃，李诗诗知道在哪能买的书。刘邦目前表现正常，因为好色的他呢，看见满大街的美女根本无动于衷，而且就算丑点的也根本没法跟我们家包子比，哈哈哈， 看来想让他移情别恋，必须找到包子他们以前店里的一个姐们，那个姐们跟人抢男朋友，脸上被情敌泼了两罐子咸酸菜，百分之九十八的度的一个硫酸，哈哈哈，后来呢，我想了一办法，就是呢，先把这项羽灌醉再还车， 俗话说一醉解千愁吗？就是我忘了问他能喝多少，就这说明呢，我从跟荆轲认识以后，智力明显向他看齐了，后来发生的事情让我很后悔，早知道就应该多跟李诗诗在一起待一待， 如果包子同意，哈哈哈，好了，以上就是我为大家播讲的史上第一混乱的第十五章的故事，感谢各位的收听。 史上第一混乱，我将牛大宝冠名瑶瑶。第十六章，孜然味的杜蕾斯。哈哈哈，我和项羽一上楼啊，就见包子在那置气，使了指指使人干活呢，胖子，你把这都蒜拔了。刘记把鸡蛋搅和匀了，磕的把米淘了， 看见我们上来，包子一指煤气罐，强子，你和那个大个去换一下，我抓着煤气罐讹了两天，哎，宇哥搭把手放我肩膀上，项羽只用了一根指头就把罐子勾在半空中问放哪？哈哈哈。哎，你拎着跟我走吧，哈哈哈， 这死心眼的劲啊，他能力拔山兮气，那个盖世，那个掰，他个煤气罐还要我扛，哈哈哈，我走的前头后边一大个拎着我们家煤气罐，这感觉怎么就这么好呢？我想起有一次去包子家，他家老头子那时候还不知道我们的关系，也是要换煤气罐也。

哪些都是江湖骗子的把戏，而我是一个神仙。我且问你啊，你想不想也当神仙呢？多么不俗的开场白，要是你你也舍不得走吧，反正我就是没舍得走。我猜想这个老东西也许会码出一排书来 啊。我看你骨骼惊奇啊，那是万中无一的绝世高手，以后维护世界和平的任务就交给你了，哈哈哈，但人家大师就是大师， 他跟我说了一句惊世绝世经验的话，导致我死心塌地的崇拜上了他，以至于才有了后来一连串的霉运。他跟我说， 你抽的白沙是假的。此言一出，我当时的感觉正如一位起起点万金油毒者写的那样，只觉一朵什么什么什么花怎么怎么样，把我怎么怎么怎么了。哈哈哈。我抽烟 习惯在家的对门的小麦里小烟店买，今天上街才发现身上没烟，谁知道买了一盒居然是他妈假的，难怪人家说对男人而言，买了一盒假烟，其郁闷程度仅次于新婚。发现那老婆不是处女 老头说完这句话之后，零点零一秒后，我就觉得我兜里这五块钱就保不住了。之后的事完全可以用峰回路转来形容， 你本来呢是可以成仙的，但就得先是步，俺和他们人类人事部平齐的，马上要批奏前的一刻呢，你爱上了一个女妖精。 这件事本来不大，因为先界带来了不可估量的一顿压力和一直以来都面对而又难得解决的问题。那到底该用什么样的道德准方去衡量一个将成仙而未成仙的人呢？哈哈哈，实话说，我 当时一直觉得吧，以为这个北大的教授乔装改扮成江湖骗子在做关于精神方面的科研调查，我甚至偷偷往私下看了看，没有发现貌似摄像机偷拍的东西。 玉帝很生气，后果很严重，他呢，原意是要将你九雷轰顶，但正好是那天，正好是出于七月初七，在七公主的美颜下改成了一雷轰顶。哈哈哈。我插嘴问啊，那个九雷 雷轰鸣和一雷轰鸣有什么区别？没什么区别，反正你死了哈哈哈。后来呢，仙界关于你的问题讨论出结果了，那就是在你还没成仙的时候爱上妖精不应该受到惩罚， 我操。哈哈哈。所以呢，他们决定补偿你，现在你有两个选择，第一呢是用你这辈子替他们做点事，完 是以后顺理成章的把你弄上上去当神仙。我很好奇的问，那我第二个选择？第二个选择呢是王母娘娘提出来的，这个婆娘的意思呢是你既然那么喜欢那个小妖精，就考验你们三世，如果你能事事在一起，就让你们一起成仙喽。 我直起腰的不是很精彩啊，不过那个我还没吃饭呢，拜拜了您呢哈哈哈。然后这个老神棍一把拽住了我，我要怎么做你才能相信我是神仙呢？ 我懒洋洋的，你再不放手我就拿板砖吸你前脸了哈哈哈。为什么不试试呢？哎。不不不，我是说你为什么不说这件事让我证明我是神你是神仙呢？哈哈哈。你他娘除非把老子变成女人哈哈哈。我一眼扫见对面大楼管 广告张贴画上的张子怡，这个一字太难打了。你把我变成张子怡老子就信我真傻，真的啊，居然提出这么一个变态的要求，哈哈哈！这个老家伙冲我伸了伸手指头，不用他说什么，我就感觉不对了， 我那根虽然不像 av 男友那么挺好的兄弟，就像十二级台风中的一颗道皮那么消失。 我捂着裤裆，这个老混蛋居然一把把我推在当街大喊了一声，快看呐，张子怡来了！最先发现我的是两只在街上盘横的恐龙，这两个老娘们加起来起码有三百公斤，哈哈哈！他们一听老神棍子喊叫， 无不无意的向这边看了一眼，然后就像裤兜子里伸出一只陌生的手那样尖叫起来，哈哈哈，好在 这是午后一点来钟，又幸好穿着黑衬衫七分裤的我把头低下来，没引起别人注意。在一阵地动山摇中，两只恐龙向我奔袭而来，我只好呢舌尖一挺上牙堂丹田一叫混元气，使了个汗滴拔虫功夫跳进了公园围墙， 哈哈哈！透过了栏杆，我苦苦哀求，老神棍，哎，你快把我变回来呀，哈哈哈！这时候两只恐龙已经与我只有一墙之隔了，他们中的一只抓着栏杆微微摇晃，整面墙就开始往下掉土渣啊！我把一只手伸出栏杆，凄凉无比的叫到，如花，你走吧，别怪我，哈哈哈！ 在经过很长一段混乱之后，老神棍终于把我变了回去，然后他戴上了一副墨镜，拿出了一根笔一样的东西，对两个恐龙说，看这里，啪啪一把。两个恐龙 呆若木鸡，但呆过一阵呢，这恐龙之一之一大叫一声，张子怡，老神棍呢？瀑布汉下，哎，看来这夕阳货就是靠不住啊，哈哈哈，闲言少叙，书归正传。喂，小子，信不信我是神仙， 恢复男人身的我呢？在一定程度上保持理直气壮的语气，你说吧，你想让我干什么呀？ 就算他是神经，他也不能把哥们怎么样。哈哈哈，不要带带情绪吗？我是来帮你的，还记得我跟你说的话吗？只要你帮他们做事，他们就让你成仙。 你先说干什么？阴阳啊，最近很不太平。原因呢是判管参加阎王爷小舅子的婚礼时候喝多了，把生死簿上一大批人的寿命都巧加了一年，为了弥补呢， 阎王只好出台了短一还二甚至短一还三的政策，把这一年补在他们下一世里。可是你要知道啊，那些个路人甲路人乙还好对付，有些人是怎么也不肯的， 比如那些历史的名人啊，帝王啊，这些人都是大有来头的，阎王不敢得罪死喽，只好答应让他们返回陈氏再过一年逍遥的日子。 这跟我有毛关系？你就不想想啊，如果把他们再放回他们那个时代，会产生什么样的后果？ 在这一年里，刘邦和项羽会怎么样？诸葛亮和司马懿会怎么样？李世民会不会杀虎得天？成吉思汗能不能改变今天的版图还不说，这些人呐， 李白杜甫多在尘世多待一年，谁知道他们会写出什么影响后事的东西嘞？蔡伦又能发明什么稀奇古怪的东西？我这么说你能懂吗？ 差不多吧，这就是多米诺骨牌效应吗？他们之中任何一个人回去都有可能重塑历史，所以不能让他们回到他们所在的时代。哎，你不是要把这些人带到现在的，弄我这来吧哈哈哈老神棍看我猜到得意的一笑。他得意的笑他得意的笑。 哈哈哈哈，谁说不是呢，阎王骗他们要把他们弄到世外仙境里补充一年阳寿，而这个世外仙境指的就是你这了， 现在阎王底下一屁股狗屎，仙界找人背黑锅这事看来不干也得干，否则那不是成了人为什么什么什么我为什么什么了？ 哈哈哈我装作为难的样子，哎，那有没有什么活动经费先弄个几个亿花花，既然是先进我总得弄两个穿旗袍的小姐 再整几只仙鹤啥的吧哈哈哈。我原本以为老神棍会满口答应人家，别人写的什么穿越呀，像钱啦美女呀这种东西那都是不值一提的道具吗？ 拿着这可恶的老神棍他居然说，哎，那些我不管啊，仙界本来就是要考验你的，你自己想高啊，还有啊，那些人什么世面都没有都见过，你就别费心了，如果你答应了我晚上就把第一个客户给你领回去， 哈哈哈，可是我因为这是一笔交易，你替他们平事，他们让你成仙，所以呢我们以后就管这些人叫客户，你可以答应也可以不答应，如果你要不答应哈哈哈。老神棍又掏出黑墨镜拿出那支笔状物来， 我就照你一下，不过我事先声明啊，这东西可不怎么好使，还有可能让你忘了很多事，不过你姓什么叫什么，父母是谁呀，你自己是男是女呀等等等等。哈哈哈，你就 不如说把我变成一个弱智得了。哎，对，你盖过的很精确。哈哈哈，我只知老生过的鼻子。一声言辞的告诉你，作为一个普通人为仙界做点事就是应该的，你怎么能怀疑我的觉悟呢？哈哈哈。 哎，事情就是这样，老神棍在离开我的时候对我说，不要再叫我老神棍了，我叫刘老六。还有啊，晚上我就把客户给你带过去，然后刘老六就把一个高壮的穿的跟个土鳖似的人领到我的面前，介绍说，这是荆轲。哈哈哈， 好了，以上就是我为大家播讲的史上第一混乱的第一章，感谢大家的收听。 史上第一混乱不讲牛大宝冠名瑶瑶。第二章荆轲。 在故事没有完全展开之前呢，我必须要先介绍一下我自己，我叫萧强，二十七岁，在我十五岁以前呢，我用这个四平八稳的名字度过了很多年，随着一部唐伯虎点秋香的风靡，那只惊艳的蟑螂的出现，我有一个新的名字，小强。 你别以为我是个无业游民呐，严格的说我是一条经理啊。不是，我是一只经理，我是一个经理，我主管着一间当铺。 什么现在没到？那是你孤陋寡闻，其实就在你的城市，你只要好好找找啊，鸡鸭旮旯里说不定就能找着。当然了，你滴了一件破衣服进去换串铜本的事那是不可能发生的，实际上呢，我们连范思哲阿尼玛这样的名牌我也不接待， 我们最欢喜的典当物品是汽车还有房产证，当然少不了什么旧式的金银古董之类的。这间典当行名叫极好，我们老板姓好，自从呢第八号当铺问世以后，我这间当铺有了一个新的艺名， d 好几号好几好当铺，哈哈哈。现在呢，当铺当然不能像过去那么柜台高筑了，实际上那装的就照搬着房地产销售楼部一样 宽敞的客厅，水晶玻璃桌上呢摆着液晶电视，周围是一圈皮沙发，除了没有磨具，跟售楼比心完全一样。 在这种环境里做谈生意呢，大家尽可能保持心平气和，虽然你在境内之前呢，可能已经知道我们发的就是好奇才了。半年以来呢，我都没见过好 老板，他把一个有二十万的账号给了我，之后呢就没出现了。去年后半年我只做成了一单生意，用六万块钱呢，当回一辆八成新的帕萨特来。 这单生意赚的钱刚够今年一年的硬件开支，至于我的工钱，每月一千四就是好老板贴钱了。谁也不知道这只老狐狸打的什么主意，反正据业内人士反应，他从没干过赔钱的买卖，哈哈哈， 我既是这间当铺的经理，也是唯一的员工。其实我还有一个副经理叫老潘，是个四十五岁的中年人， 专管鉴别古董呢。自打我认识了以来啊，就见过这两回，第一回呢是和郝老板一起吃饭，第二回呢是请他来验一张据说是民国时期的银票。老潘看了一眼就走了，他在门口跟我说， 那有把冥币当一名民国银票拿来验的，直接报警。哈哈哈，那我大概就是这么个情况，我的当铺开在一条很冷清的街上，每天无所事事，没想到一出事就刺激大发了，我他娘的居然成了神仙预备役了，还得接待穿越到我这来的客户， 就在我刚有点进行准备的时候呢，我老六给我领来的第一个客户居然是他妈金科，哈哈哈，我说了啊， 小金同学个子大概有一米七七，很快穿着开心粗布的衣服，最搞笑的是他眼睛居然他妈散光啊，哈哈哈， 他的一只眼睛在看着你的时候呢，另一只眼珠子就像藏在太阳穴里边一样，哈哈哈，这也不奇怪吗，人家是杀手吧，需要眼光六路吧，哈哈哈， 就是这个小金在刺杀完秦始王之前，在易水边唱着悲凉的喊 rap， 哈哈哈，高见李给他打的架子鼓送他了，很是拉风的，可惜小金学艺不精，被秦王暴揍一顿， 小精气急之下呢，张开了双腿，冲着秦王做了一个很有暗示性卧槽的动作，哈哈哈。哎，这李老六把金哥送下来就走了，金哥看来还没从失败中缓过劲，显得呆头呆脑，对任何新奇的事物都没兴趣。他低着头看着自己的脚步， 你就是个先生的主人啊，给我一套房，其他的我想也会叫你，哈哈哈，这个住宿倒还不是问题啊，大户上边有两间房和一个仓库，我和我女朋友包子占了一间， 我把荆轲领着呢，他傻乎乎坐在地上，嘴里喃喃的吧，为什么为什么？为什么？我关上门出来才发现自己一头的奔驰脚汗啊，从现在开始，我就已经踏上了成仙之旅了，而我接待的第一个客户居然是古今第一次刻荆轲。 我看了看墙上的挂钟，我女朋友包子快下班了，早就跟你们说了，我很倒霉的。你见过几个穿越小春男？男主角是一开始有女朋友的哈哈哈，就算有也是美若天仙吧哈哈哈。包子呢，姓相全名像狍子， 他老爸呢是那种带着酱油瓶平底眼镜呢，军绿色衬衫的老会计，希望他女儿长大以后呢能成为一名光荣的人民教师，桃李满天下，像狍子植物一样，但这个名字呢，给包子带来唯一的好处就是像狍子小。

susan obeyon has captured natir and she's going to kill her i think he got her from the trap in the lab and he knows everything now oh， no my poor natiel we have to do something it's because you've spent a couple of years in the state of weightlessness you have susan， i want to prove a special potion so our captain can regain his strength， but i am missing one ingredient the body of a ship there are usually some at the reefs wait i know for a fact that somewhere underneath ovien's castle is a secret passage with a brilliant of me them some clothes for my house please that meanwhile will think of how to get to the euro and sing many thanks susan， i knew i could count on you my strength is coming back to me， but i need more time listen to what moron and i came up with well magic kill members used to spit lit using us barn says there's a portal there you should try to light it and pour the beam at obian's ship he'll follow the light only to meet his duo， meanwhile， mario and then i will get moving as soon as the potion hopefully moved into the ship and saved the tl before you switch on the lighthouse you need my signet it's the only one i have well my husband was a good i feed myself with things all right i'll give it to you i've been planning to visit my husband， it's great， it's too stone， it's it's brush and clean it would you then i'll give you the thanks for everything i'll bear no expensive oh， thank you just what i need hey susan while you were away i checked one of my cashes and here's what i found take it it may come in handy careful love oh i'm here captain that's what my love or the cards are fine you let them get away you bora together at last thank you suzan here take this medallion as a token about gratitude there's an idea let's go to corko everyone he has this flipped homemade liquor also i was told。

i found her what is this charge doing in the middle of my living room hey， anybody home so swell i did bring back some anti magic gloves to my last trip they're in the safe now but who wrote this note how did he find me and how does he know that i have the gloves？ what was that what was happening here？ hello， susan， my man springing on the captain my body， my trout someday which is one go there there's no time to waste brother comes into the water susan， what happened well， i guess this qualifies you're awake welcome to the miss coast the very western i'm cortal distort i found tell me what okay the capital bubble up but if you want to get let's make the series for together splendid you can go to be your sorrows now and sir， why are you it what's that well i absolutely well， soon i'll be in the burrow 哎，吃完了。 hey， you over there， thank you for answering my call listen help me open down here help me out and i'll be in debt to you this ship is just like the one belonging to have to find the way inside listen i'm so well， thank you well， i think the earls anyway， what's that i was with in the house and i think so well， i know weird back this fridge run up that is a banconi and island and that is captain fenuour stalburn a few years ago we came home in the ship from a jerk when the time after it was on we've tried it you should stop there's a hidden past i think captain wants to hold it his wife i hope you're not oh well， it means be career tiffany， strong， oh， oh， i'm okay now， i just want to find out what？ 哈哈哈， 嗯？ 哎呀，就那哈哈哈哈 啊 well， well， where if you tell me do you think i'm a hookup you chick child goodness i'm going up such a ass now， let's see， let's go girly sit here don't worry， we'll be back soon， who's singing hey， who's there right i need to get out of it luckily， i managed to hide the lock pick in my socks， unnoticed by the cards。

it's here oh here's the portal， i think someone is coming oh no the girl found us my dear susan， i'm so glad and mortified to see a friend of my trail in the nightly earl， i've gotten as for me， so yes， fat oh susan maron and who are well susan maron and also well， let's look for them in the barn wow， we made it we're on the island look， the crypt is dressed up ahead， let's move faster they may learn those a helping hand let's go in be careful susan it's fine the bridge is dirty all of me get off here yeah， right now well， i'm not gonna help you i don't trust but if you help listen to the whole you need a hose， i think also he was winning by my own us， i'm sorry， i have to be so are you entered a pierre iron， she and then doubled eyes oh。

it's here， but there used to be a portal instead of a time of column that's strange oh here's the portal now we need to activate it somehow i think someone is coming my dear susa i'm so glad i'm a friend of mine be my trailblazer skin in my deliberate the earn let it slip i've gotten rid of the god as for me so your guess i've heard this my husband isn't i've thought to myself and while he's one well then the key to the portal like the dungeon doors and speaking of rich he drop i'm just sleeping i had to do it well then block me off fate another card is here if you sound to see a law all the cards from the castle will rush to this place we must find a way to neutralize it without anyone nervous susan maron and it's susan dear the date maron appeared performance off he went so do what bear servers well let's not look for them in the barn looks like jack didn't see me his woman is working whoa we made it we're on the island look the crypt is just ahead let's move faster there look that's dinner my love i'm here well rescue you soon be careful susan but all right it's fine the bridge is dirty follow me 这条视频啊 oh you're the girls and treatment right no well i'm not going but if you help me listen through the whole you'll need a whole i think also yuki was when he learned by my 丢，我爱死你。 i'm sorry to behave that way， but i have to be so yes are you interested it appeared on a fit i remembered it a week she and then they would look the witch died not your eyes suggest you oh why why looks like the witch script and there's a sarcophagus let's examine everything thoroughly any detail might turn out to be crucial talking to figure out directly would be much better but。

i found her what is it just doing in the middle of my living room hey， anybody home， so strange maybe it's a joke well， i did bring back some anti magic gloves for the last trip they're in the safe now， but who brought this note how did he find me and how does he know that i what was that what was happening here？ well， just call hello susan， my name's finger silver， my body is inky， my travels are random someday， which is why i need to go there there's no time to waste throw a compass into the water susan， what happened what well i guess this qualifies as someone maybe he owns this place i have to talk to him you're awake welcome to the miss coast i'm cargo by the way the storm was raging i found you in the rip tell me how did you it what okay？ then a captain by the name of the bug look， there's a tow， but if you want to get there， let's make the fairy four together splendid you can go to bail sorrows now and search for you why are you inside？ what's that well， i purchased so it was well susan， i'll be in the burrow hey， you over there help me out i'm here this ship is just like the one belonging to captain starburn i have to find my way inside thank you for answering my call i see her you're not from around here listen help me open this door it's so cold listen i'm so cold well， thank you well， there's this stuff i've been sitting here in the earls cardson， anyway， let me watch that do i i was with this crew one and the house where i was locked and i've been keeping it up so well， i know where it is hey susan， i'm here on the captain's bridge that is a pen condient island and that is got continuous stalburn a few years ago we came home in this shit from a jerk when the time came after a few it was wonderful in it we've tried to get it with him you should start a design that's a hidden passage to them looks like someone already had a look around i think captain went to the earl's castle to get his wife oh， no it's well meantime be careful here take this try oh， i have you now well well well look who we had a little bird do you even know i'm a oh yeah no dog big， no silent goodness what's going on today chacha stripper house for her now let's see who let's go girly sit here don't worry we'll be back soon hahaha who's singing hey， who's there right i need to get out of here lucky i've managed to hide pelopic in my socks unnoticed credit cards you're the first person i've seen for years i mean they are always giving me here your dress what you say you're looking for fit but you're they are all obie i know this for sure what are you talking about magic's number but what you say look i want to help you give me true i can finally escape。

mama what's this mortal song oh it was a long time the one in iun stars you're my last step there's a doer only the fuck you mind you'll find out but there's two i think 我，我的脏 be careful not to run into him all the way help me i'll go i have no idea where all beyond was all this time how well can you ask what should we do now wait we have to get to you you remember how did we tell you and so what if i will need to sneak on tuition i can hear some voices coming so don't forget to keep your eyes on this lip just watch anyone fire effect for that freaker i'm going to have a rest what happens at damn soup let's take it down just work hurry to the kiss oh no the deal is gone but i'm wear oh this is very strange oh no because i kill he's going to kill susan obeyon has captured the view i think he got her from it oh no i'm bobby it's because you spit susan but i am missing one there are usual you can ask chili wait i figured to me here's a key and meanwhile wilson really thanks susan i knew i could counter my strength is coming listen to what more do you know i love you well magic moron says so you should try to like you'll follow the light meanwhile hopefully we'll give to the ship you need my fishing net is the only one where my eye fees are alright eyes and garlic is june take it smash and paint it thanks for everything also thank you just try。

i can hear some voices coming from the captain's cabin it worked hurry to the cliff we must get the captain from the cube oh， no mityalla's gone， but i don't wear oh this is very strange obiyan has escaped his gallon oh no， it has mckeel he's going to kill her susan obeyon has captured natir and he's going to kill her i think he got her from the trap in the lab and he knows everything now oh no my poor nadiel， we have to do something my body why is it acting like this？ i can't control it it's because you spent a couple of years in the state of weightlessness you have to get your strength back susan， i want to do a special potion so our captain can regain his strength， but i am missing one ingredient the body of a shellfish there are usually some other reefs you can ask chilisa for her fishing it i think it might come inhabit wait i know for a fact that somewhere underneath obien's castle he's a secret passage with a sword named smasher hidden inside bring it to me mattens and clothes from my house please here's a key you'll need it and meanwhile we'll think about it get to the earl and save my ntl many thanks susan， i knew i could count on you my strength is coming back to me， but i need more time listen to what marin and i came up with do you know about the old lighthouse the one that been acropolis well magic cute members used to keep it lift using a sky dome miniature generated somewhere of the old lecture hall marin says there's a portal there you should try to like it and point the beam at home ship you'll follow the light only to meet his doom meanwhile more than i will get moving as soon as the potion starts working hopefully ruined it to a ship and save the dl before you switch on the lighthouse you need my shinet it's the only one i have well my husband was a good fisherman but i'm not really you say it nowadays i feed myself with things cyber in the garden now all right i'll give it to you from one condition i've been planning to visit my husband and spray for a long time now is tombstone is all covered with moss take the spash and paint it which open i'll give you the next thanks for everything up oh， thank you careful love oh i'm here kevin that's one of my love while the guards are fined together at last thank you susan here take this medallion as a token of our gratitude here's an idea let's go to coco everyone he has dispended homemade liquor also i was told。